On July 4th, 1862, Charles Lutwidge Dodgson took the three daughters of his good friend, Henry Liddell, on a little rowing excursion. During the journey, the young girls pressed him for a story. It was on this trip that the beginning of the now famous Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland started to form. It would be published in 1864, under his penname Lewis Carroll.
Carroll’s story is a perfect example of the Literary Nonsense sub-genre, where it “balances elements that make sense with some that do not, with the effect of subverting language conventions or logical reasoning.” Make sense, right? I honestly just love the fact that there is an actual sub-genre called Literary Nonsense! But let’s get back to our mission.
From bottles labeled DRINK ME to cakes labeled EAT ME, to the eating of mushrooms, there is a lot of growing and shrinking going on here in this story. So what better time to celebrate things that are LARGE as well as small.
Your mission is to find and watch two horror movies that you have not seen before, that deal with a monster or some sort of threat that is either oversized or undersized! From giant ants from Them! (1954) or Empire of the Ants (1977), The Amazing Colossal Man (1957), to the smaller threats like the flaming cockroaches in Bug (1975) or killer worms in Squirm (1976), you should have plenty to choose from. You can do one of each, or both of the same kind. Up to you. But you have to have them watched and your report posted by 11:59pm on July 31st.
kitleyskrypt.com 
I found this mission a tad confusing, so I just stuck with “insect movies” rather than getting into the whole size factor. Oddly enough, the two I chose also involved unusual sizes.
#1. The Nest (1988?)
There is plenty to like here. It’s the 1980s, it’s a Corman film. And the most cockroaches in a movie since Creepshow. Something about it was a little off. I’m not sure if it was plot or pacing or what, but it doesn’t maintain its momentum all the way. I can overlook that. I’ve seen a lot worse. And they totally redeem themselves with the creature effects. When the full reveal happens, it’s like Screaming Mad George style. (I don’t know who did the effects, maybe it was him?) That was awesome.
#2. Mosquito (1994/5)
I hate to say it, but I think I might have liked this better than The Nest. While the former had better effects, thus one has a tone I found really fun. A humor that borders on Troma even. From a purely technical point of view, this is the worse movie… But sometimes worse is better. I could have done without the Gunnar Hansen chainsaw joke, but I’m sure for some people they get a Big kick out of the way too obvious reference.
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I’m glad you were able to figure out the mission, Gavin!
I have always been a fan of The Nest…killer cockroaches is one thing, but what happens at the end is a next level maneuver!
I’ve actually never gotten around to seeing Mosquito. Looks like I need to now.
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Mosquito has been on my to-see list for some time. But the only versions I stumbled upon so far (over here in Europe) were dubbed in French. So still haven’t seen it. As far as giant insect movies go (at least the ones from the ’90s that still had some practical creature effects in them), there’s this other one called Skeeter (1993) I did manage to watch (while searching for Mosquito). Pretty goofy, but still fun. I bet it’s somewhat in the same league as Mosquito as well.
The Nest is probably still my favorite killer mutant cockroach movie ever. It’s a bit uneven with the pacing, yes, but overall it delivers what we came for. An enjoyable ride with fun practical effects trickery. And for a late ’80s Corman creature feature effort, even the general production values still look decent enough.
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Don’t be Afraid of the Dark (1973)
Synopsis: A woman and her husband move into a new home. Against advice, she opens a blocked off fireplace. Doing so frees 3 creatures who are afraid of light and who have set their sights on the woman who freed them. Her fears are ignored by her husband and Dr., leaving her vulnerable to the imps harassment and threats.
Review: After watching the remake for the Mexican Mission, Jon had suggested I watch this version as well. I actually wanted to review this last month under the D-Day mission, but Amazon was ten days late getting this to me so I didn’t get it watched in time. Fortunately, it also falls under the “little” category so I can review it now.
This version of the movie benefits from 2 major factors, they remembered that the creatures are afraid of light so the few lights used when the creatures show up are atmospheric red and greens, so the story makes more sense and it helps create a spookier atmosphere. The second thing that works for it is “the 70’s factor.” For whatever reason; the film stock used, the environment of the times they were made, whatever; 70’s movies have a creepy feel to them no matter how well or poorly done. So this version certainly beats out the remake in the creepy/scary feel it generates. The two factors that hinder it are the monsters & the fact that it is a TV movie. Because it was made for TV, the danger is implied more than shown. While that works well to some degree, had they been able to show a little more danger than a man’s arm getting cut or a man falling down the stairs and dying I think it would have been a little edgier. I don’t think it needed gore or violence, just more implied danger. Even more of a hindrance is the monsters themselves. They look like they have walnut shells for heads and a shag carpet suit for the body. Their size seemed to range from scene to scene; looking less than a foot in the bathroom holding a razor and about 3 feet tall climbing on the garbage cans. Fortunately they were kept mostly in shadows and in quick-cuts so the views weren’t as distracting as they could have been. To sum up, this version is certainly scarier and certainly creepier that the remake but suffers a small amount form the limitations of TV movies at that time. Overall, it was an enjoyable watch. It’s a shame that the technical aspects of the newer movie couldn’t be combined with the mood of the original. That would have been one great movie!
One last note: I can see why Del Toro changed the “heroine” from the wife to the daughter; if a man treated his wife as patronizingly as the 70’s seem to deem acceptable, we would have all been routing for the monsters to get him. This guy was a jerk!
Food of the Gods (1976)
Synopsis: 3 friends go to an island to relax and hunt. While there, one of them is killed by giant hornets while the others are away Another is attacked by a giant chicken (yes! a giant chicken!) when he goes to get help. He discovers that an elderly couple has discovered a food that makes animals grow large. The two surviving men leave the island but when they find out that their friend died from giant hornets they go back to do something about it only to find out the island is under siege by a herd of giant rats that ate some of the food.
Review: I remember seeing scenes for this movie back when I was in grade school and it kind of freaked me out. However, as an adult I can see that it would only be scary to a child. To begin with, it’s strange (& a bit comforting) to see Bert I Gordon so late in his career still using such bad special effects that plagued his early movies like The Amazing Colossal Man. We have see-through giant Hornets, fake looking models and Rats whose muzzles change from sharp and pointed like a rat to round and “cute” like that of a Guinea Pig, depending on the effect used. As you can tell from the synopsis there isn’t much of a plot and the characters all fit nicely into generic stock characters (the hero, the selfish greedy jerk; the younger male to call the hero into question on his decisions, etc.). There are also obviously lapses in judgement by the filmmakers. For instance if the food flows freely in the backyard, why are they so concerned about the jars being destroyed and why did the rats have to gnaw into the house to get some of it?
Yet all of that being said there are some good moments of some actual tension and frights nestled between the tired clichés and goofy effects. The scenes of the giant rats climbing and surrounding the building worked well; and so did the giant grubs in the pantry. So while I wouldn’t recommend the movie for everyone, if you are a fan of Mr. BIG or enjoy giant critter movies, you could do worse.
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I’m glad you sought out the original Don’t Be Afraid and even more so that you enjoyed it. I completely agree with your comment about the look and feel of those 70s TV movies. Just something about them.
I’m actually a big fan of Food, but I couldn’t argue with your points. The effects are very dated, and I’m not really thrilled with the parts where it looks like they are shooting the rats with air rifles or something. But still a fun movie and a great cast.
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Yeah, since you brought it up…It really looks like they were actually shooting those rats. It kind of made me feel uncomfortable watching that. I have to assume there were laws in place even back then to keep directors from torturing animals. So, I guess I should give him credit for that realistic effect. i am guessing the shot them with some kind of blood packs which would explain the obvious impact on the rats.
I agree the cast does well with the parts they were given, even if the parts were pretty stereo-typed. Its certainly not a boring movie ( a lot of action) so I can’t say it was a bad movie…just not particularly good one.
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Movie #1 – Hogzilla.
Ugh, if Joe Bob Briggs didn’t show this on The Last Drive-In I would like to think I would never have seen this movie and would be better for it. Dumb and dull in every aspect, not even Joe Bob could save this movie from being fed to the pigs. If you haven’t seen it, you are not missing out. Bunch of bad writing, bad acting and people on the search and running from a giant wild boar, that you almost never see. No gore or nudity to give it any redeeming value.
Movie #2 – The Giant Behemoth
As far as giant monster movies go, I found this one to be a little lackluster. A lot of set up and when the monster finally shows up, he walks around London, steps on a few cars, then jumps in the water and gets shot in the face with a torpedo, the end. The saddest part I thought was these poor people in London, unknowingly would have their city destroyed once again by Gorgo, only two years later after rebuilding.
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Hogzilla, huh? Sounds like a T-Day movie… or apparently not!
I actually like The Giant Behemoth, but I’m a sucker for British films of that time. I think this is better than Gorgo, but maybe it is has stop animation.
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Since it is the last week of the month, I figured it was about time I actually started looking for my own movies for the mission. I mean, this really isn’t one of those Do as I say, not as I do, sort of things after all.
I started with Karel Zeman’s Journey to the Beginning of Time, because I knew it had dinosaurs in it. As fun as that movie was, it’s not even close to be called horror, so I can’t use it. But that being said, I would recommend everyone to look up the work of Karel Zeman. He was a Czech director that was doing some amazing animated, stop-animated, and a ton of other different early special effects that are just amazing.
But for my official Army entries, I went with a couple of spider movies, one with normal size and one with larger ones.
In the Spider’s Web (2007) – Proving that Lance Henriksen will be in anything, this made-for-TV movie (probably for the Sci-Fi channel) is filled with a ton of CGI spiders and a few real ones. Yes, Henriksen is always interesting and entertaining to watch. But I could not say that for the rest of this movie. It does have a few things that are cool looking but for the most part, not the best in the sub-genre, and not sure I could recommend it.
Eight-Legged Freaks (2002) – I probably avoided this because of Arquette starring it in, which at the time just annoyed me to no end. But with the mission looming over me, I figured I would knock it out. I’m glad I did because, even though it is also filled with a ton of CGI spiders, the cast here is what makes it fun. From Tom Noonan, Kari Wuhrer, Scarlett Johansson, Rick Overton, Doug E. Doug, and even Eileen Ryan (who played the old barfly from Feast), it is filled with familiar faces, so that make it a lot more entertaining than it should have been. It really is like Gremlins except with giant spiders. So yeah, it’s more of a family movie, like Arachnophobia, than a real horror film but it does have it’s moments.
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I still have not seen Journey to the Beginning of Time, but I’m glad you are enjoying your journey into Zeman! Everything I’ve seen of his just leaves my mouth hanging open in admiration at the inventiveness and the imagination and the dedication to pulling it off. Why he isn’t better known in this country among genre fans is beyond me.
I also avoided Eight-Legged Freaks for a long time and was equally pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable a film it is once I finally caught up with it.
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#1
ITSY BITSY (2019)
d. Gallo, Micah (USA)
After ailing artifact collector Walter Clark’s (Bruce Davison) wife is “cursed” and dies, his former associate Ahkeeba (Treva Etienne) murders a group of African tribespeople, steals the ceremonial black egg of their spider goddess, and brings it to his former employer. When Clark rejects the gift, Ahkeeba smashes it, releasing an enormous arachnid that immediately takes up residence in Clark’s attic. Meanwhile, Clark’s new assisted-living nurse Kara (Elizabeth Roberts) and her two small children move into the guest house next door, setting the stage for all sorts of buggy thrills. The end result is a perfectly decent giant spider movie bogged down by extraneous melodramatic elements (Kara is addicted to anti-anxiety medicine, brought on by the trauma of a car accident that claimed the life of her youngest son) and ill-written supporting characters (Denise Crosby is completely at sea as the small-town sheriff with nothing to do do). That said, the scenes of spider action are well-executed, with some pleasingly gooey gore and practical creature effects. Not the worst nor the best and available streaming for free on Shout! Factory TV.
#2
ATTACK OF THE SUPER MONSTERS (1982)
d. Sotyama, Toru / Wyner, Tom (Japan)
In the year 2000, we are informed via sonorous narration, a troop of dinosaurs living underground in a secret cave where they have been “developing an intelligence equal to that of Man and dreadful powers far beyond those of Humankind” finally decides to make their collective move and reclaim dominance over the Earth. With their chortling and taunting (yes, these dinos communicate via spoken word) leader Emperor Tyranus marshaling his minions with an iron claw, the cold-blooded behemoths mount a full-scale assault on our existing civilization, using a variety of brutal and bizarre methods. It’s up to the special forces team of Gemini Command to beat back the monstrous menace and save the day… over and over again.
HOLY SMOKES. This is easily one of my favorite discoveries of the year. Within 30 seconds, I was grinning like an idiot and laughing out loud at the outrageousness unfolding before me. My profuse thanks to Belgian blood brother Gert for putting it on my radar and for the Kryptic Army for providing the impetus to pop it in the player.
FULL REVIEW HERE:
http://horror101withdrac.blogspot.com/2020/07/attack-of-super-monsters-1982-dvd-review.html
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Here’s the link to Itsy Bitsy, if anyone’s interested. I’m a big fan of Shout! Factory TV – some really interesting stuff on there FOR FREE.
http://www.shoutfactorytv.com/itsy-bitsy/5e9eb9bcc86f5b0001417a39
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I almost picked Itsy Bitsy as one of my choices, but passed. Considering the first one I did pick, I should have chosen otherwise.
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Pleased to see the enjoyment you got out of Attack of the Super Monsters promptly inspired you to crank out a full review for it over at Horror 101! Happy to oblige, glad to provide some welcome viewing fun!
Itsy Bitsy — “Kara is addicted to anti-anxiety medicine, brought on by the trauma of a car accident that claimed the life of her youngest son” — Why does this sound like riffing on a plot device & character element of Ari Aster’s Hereditary so much? Nonetheless, sounds like one I wouldn’t mind watching. Giant spider movie with well-executed practical effects. Yes, sir, please!
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JULY- 2ND TOUR OF DUTY
Movie 1: Pacific Rim (2013): Large
Synopsis: Basically, giant monster rise from a fissure in the ocean’s floor that connects to another world. Humans create Giant Robots to fight them.
Review: I cut out all of the human oriented sub-text in my synopsis because let’s face it; it doesn’t matter much to the overall plot. Let me also say that I don’t see this as a horror movie; more of an action movie. I don’t believe Del Toro approached his direction of this movie to create horror but to create the thrills of an action movie. But I think that is true with the majority of Kaiju movies. At any rate, I enjoyed this movie. I am not a big action fan but Del Toro is a fantastic director and took what could have been a boring repetition of fisticuffs and made them exciting to watch; with great visuals and (even though I said it didn’t matter to the synopsis) interesting characters (especially the two scientists and Ron Perlman’s character). The Monsters are especially cool-looking. While this isn’t the type of movie I would visit again nor consider deep or rich in sub-text, I did have a good time watching it. So I would recommend it to Kaiju movie lovers, action lovers, & Del Toro fans. If you’re looking for scary though, look somewhere else.
Movie 2: Critters 1986: Tiny
Synopsis: A Bunch of small porcupine/(Cartoon version) Tasmanian-devil hybrids know as Krites from outer space land on earth on a farm in a small town. In fast pursuit, 2 bounty hunters follow them to the town and try to catch them. It’s a close tie as which group does the most damage. While the bounty hunters shoot everything that doesn’t move, the family living on the farm have to protect themselves from the Krites that will eat everything from human flesh to car parts.
Review: This movie had 2 strikes against it going in. 1. I remembered it coming out just after the movie Gremlins, along with Ghoulies, Hobgoblins and a slew of other bad Gemlin rip-offs. 2. It was made in the 80’s and I generally don’t like 80’s horror. While the 70’s & present films are gritty, realistic and take their horror seriously; the 80’s mostly try to be cute or funny and dilute the horror elements. In addition the acting is often bad and things are so over the top there is no sense that any of it could be real. So, imagine my surprise when I really liked this movie. Yes it does try to throw in some humor but at least it worked (for the most part). And the monsters, while “cute”; did actually feel threatening. A real sense of dread and concern for the family permeated many of the scenes. Especially because we saw how ferocious these things were when they attacked Dad and Billy Zane. So, I would recommend this movie, especially to those who like a little fun mixed in with their horror, but still want the horror to go with it.
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I am also a huge fan of del Toro, but just could not get behind Pacific Rim. Not sure why, since you’d think with giant robots and kaiju fighting, but since it was soooo GCI, and the plot was pretty…thin, I didn’t care for it.
But glad you did enjoy Critters because I absolutely love that one. I actually would recommend the 2nd one too. A lot of fun.
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I had to go underwater for this month’s mission – so let’s dive right in:
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon 2002/USA
This was one of many genre movies churned out by Nu-Image in the 00’s. I was encouraged that it starred John Barrowman (pre-Doctor Who). The plot involves a reawakened megalodon wreaking havoc at a Mexican resort. John and a plucky female paleontologist must try and stop it. I was about to give this one up, as the shark they were dealing with was a “mere” 15 foot specimen. But after it was dispatched around the 60 minute mark, the main event showed up in all of it’s 60 foot CGI glory. But, after attacking a jumbo luxury yacht, and swallowing whole several life rafts and a jet ski (Ah, the cheesy early 00’s CGI…), the beast was eliminated.
Octopus 2: The River Of Fear 2000/USA
Nu-Image strikes again! This time a giant octopus has made the East River it’s home, and is terrorizing the New York City harbor. Enter a NYPD Harbor Patrolman, who has a theory that it’s a giant octopus causing the problems. Naturally, he is branded a kook, and summarily ignored. But with the help of a plucky Mayoral aide, he convinces his bosses that it is actually a giant damn octopus, and sets about with his team to eliminate the beast. All of this is set against a giant 4th of July fireworks event that has the harbor loaded with snacks for the octopus. There are lots more practical effects than CGI. You could find worse ways to spend 90 minutes.
A couple of interesting notes:
Both of these movies have terrible reviews on IMDB. People complain about the acting, the plots, the special effects, you name it. But really, if you are watching either of these, what in the actual hell are you expecting! If you have to pick at this or that, why are you even here? Go read a book. Or mow your lawn. These are both mindless fun monster movies, and should be enjoyed as such.
Also, both monsters make the most ridiculous “growling” noises. I swear they used the same sound FX for both movies. It made me chuckle every time!
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You make a very valid point, Bob, and one that even I tend to forget every now and then. If you are entertained by it, then it is not a bad movie. I have watched a couple of these types of movies and really have only enjoyed with watching them with other people. If I was by myself, I’m not sure I could get through it. CGI monsters are really iffy with me sometimes. Not all, but most of the times. I do remember hearing about Barrowman in the shark movie, but I’ve seen so many bad CGI shark movies that those are even tougher for me. But this octopus one…I could actually see me watching that one.
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I’d like to share the fact that I never actually felt an irresistible urge to watch the following two movies. But, Jon, I guess I’ll have to thank you for making me do it regardless, in the nick of time…
THE HIVE (2008)
Did this turn out to be something else. With RHI Entertainment being involved, I expected a ‘killer ants’ made-for-TV movie about as bland and/or boring as, let’s say for instance Killer Bees (2002 – the one with C. Thomas Howell, just to give a random example). What I got, however, was a mix of ‘jungle sci-fi horror’ almost as bonkers as Code Red: The Rubicon Conspiracy (2001 – to name just a random title coming to mind). Sure, we get swarms of killer ants (often portrayed by an impressive amount of little killer CG pixels). But also an alien entity invading earthly territory, absurd science friction theories, a blue-plasma-blasting-&-lives-saving extermination team, a dude running around under the influence of an ant his brain (with the ant itself under the influence of the alien entity). The CGI comes in all sorts of shapes, colors and sizes, as they joyfully start riffing on the plot of James Cameron’s The Abyss (1989) when things proceed. It all gets crazy enough to the point they even throw in a giant kaiju ant (don’t get your hopes up; it’s also CGI) near the end. It also has two female scientists actually solving some stuff while the men are at a loss for solutions (at least this film got something right). The Hive is a ridiculous heap of whatever you want to call it. But sitting through it, I went from: “Boy, this is bad” to “Man, that was fun.”
QUEEN KONG (1976)
Take ridiculous and absurd, like any bad movie can get. Then run it through your amplifier, turned up to 11. Only, make sure everything is intended. The political incorrectness, the parody persiflages, the utter nonsense. Dress it all up like the ultimate feminist pamphlet, as if you’re watching ‘Rise Of The Females’ with our titular over-sized hairy not-so-Beauty-Queen Kong standing for everything ‘woman empowerment’ could ever stand for. And you pretty much have UK’s offbeat Z-grade monster movie spoof answer to what all John Landis (Shlock, The Kentucky Fried Movie, Amazon Women On the Moon) was doing overseas at the start of his career. With Queen Kong gleefully stealing the script of King Kong and changing it to suit its own purposes (while at it, also succeeding in making fun of The Exorcist, Jaws and the likes). It’s also, sort of, kind of, riding that similar British vibe of absurdist comedy made hugely popular by the Monty Python team during the ’70s era. In this mindset, it’s somewhat surprising why Queen Kong never really crawled out of of obscurity to receive some form of ultimate cult status (at least not to my knowledge, it hasn’t). And of course we do get some giant ‘not quite rubbery enough looking, even’ dinosaurs suits trying to beet the crap out of rubberish suited Queen Kong. And a whole bunch of ‘-50% off’ miniature sets on sale as well, standing in for London getting trashed. The composite shots – lovingly dubbed ‘optical special effects’ during the opening credits – look like they deliberately tried to mess things up and the same goes for the obvious blue screen effects. A certain fellow called John Rees was responsible for them and he clearly was having too much of a laugh with it: nobody took him serious anymore after this movie. Five years later producer/director Frank tried his hand at directing a ‘serious’ horror movie, called Dawn Of The Mummy. Suffice to say it turned out quite hilarious too. Albeit not intended this time.
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Sorry for them typos, hah.
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Haven’t seen The Hive, but I feel better that you enjoyed it at least! Remember Gert, this army is voluntary, so don’t be trying to blame me! Hehehehe…I have to say that you’d think that killer insects would be an easy topic to come up with some really scary stories…but apparently not!
Queen Kong is one of the ultimate Turkey Titles. And what a cast!
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Oh, it surely was my own choice to watch these two, Jon, so not blaming you for anything. Thanking you, rather, since I got more than enough laughs out of it. And Yes, fully aware there’s enough better ‘killer insects’ films out there, but I kind of used this month’s mission as an excuse to chalk these two babies off the list (the first two, instantly available, that came to mind and fitted the bill).
Queen Kong is definitely a Turkey with a capital T, haha. And the cast is all game with it too. Come to think of it again, Robin Askwith’s overacting sometimes reminded me of a young Mick Jagger (especially during his two dance routine scenes). Funny stuff.
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Movie 1: “Kingdom of the Spiders”
Wow. I was… for some reason; monumentally bored with this one. I’m going to go ahead and blame William Shatner for that. The spiders were slow and cool looking, but… I just couldn’t get into it. I liked the fires and explosions, but I was just utterly bored. I did like the mixture of real and prop tarantulas. You could tell sometimes, but the mix was well done.
Movie 2: “The Giant Leeches”
Campy, simple, effective. I actually had a lot of fun with this one. Not on the edge of my seat, but it had a great pace and believable (albeit 2 dimensional) characters. The monsters were fun looking and I liked how they filmed the underwater scenes. Nothing mind blowing, but it reminded me of sitting around with high school friends watching “The Giant Gila Monster” and the like. I product of its time, but a quality one. R.I.P Dave. He got done dirty.
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Sorry to hear you didn’t care for Kingdom of the Spiders that much. Love Shatner doing his usual over acting, which I just find a hoot.
As low budget as Giant Leeches is, I still love that film. Such a great and unusual monster and creepy as hell (at least when I was a kid!). And how could that title not draw you to the drive-in back in the day!
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Movie 1: Lake Placid (2006) I was pleasantly surprised about this movie. It was fun, campy, gory, and all around a good time to watch. Betty White was an absolute treat. I wish she was in more horror movies. I enjoy Bill Pullman and Oliver Platt in every movie I’ve seen them in. It wasn’t the best of the best, but I had a blast watching this. I didn’t hate the special effects on the crock.
Movie 2: Empire of the Ants (1977) This was also a fun movie. 70’s B-movie at it’s finest! I loved the unique story and the cheesy ant special effects. I didn’t take this movie seriously at all, but I would love to read the book in comparison.
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I got to see Lake Placid in the theater and found it entertaining enough. But I will say the part with the grizzly bear made me almost jump out of my seat. Very well executed! Haven’t bothered with any of the sequels though…
Empire was a film that was always playing on TV in my youth. Not my favorite of Bert I. Gordon, but still a fun watch. Plus, anybody that builds giant mechanical ants, you have to give credit to!
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