Last weekend, I had the pleasure of viewing the blu-ray release of Satan’s Blade, from producer/co-writer/director/actor L. Scott Castillo Jr. Followers of the Krypt all know about my annual Turkey Day Marathons that I hold every November. Well…I decided to do an impromptu event and hold the First Annual Turkey Day in May event! Yeah, it was kind of last minute, but I already had a plentiful list of titles for the next Turkey Day, I didn’t see a problem with doubling the fun during the year! Some of the usual suspects were there and I’ll have a full report posted at some point this month.
But this rant is really about the 1984 film Satan’s Blade. Actually, not about the movie itself, but one of the extras on this new blu-ray. There is an interview with director Castillo on the disc. Honestly…it is kind of hard to say it is in an interview with the director does 99% of the talking, while the poor woman interview is looking into the camera with the definite “shoot me now” look. Of course, that is when you can SEE her on camera. Let me explain. I’m not sure who they had working the camera, but when compared to the likes of Ed Wood or Ray Dennis Steckler, those guys should have been multiple Oscar winners for cinematography.
When the interview starts, the director is on the left of the screen and the interviewer is on the right, directly facing each other, so all we get is the sides of their faces. But not for long because within minutes, the camera then zooms in on some material sitting on the table, completely cutting off the two people, all the while Castillo is talking. Then the director gets up and starts going through some different items, like a couple of VHS tapes, some posters (or as he calls them “lobby cards”), one of which took him about 5 minutes to actually get out of the envelope…ALL WHILE THE FILMING CONTINUES!!! Each time we get to an item, like the VHS tape, the camera slowly zooms in as close as it can then slowly pans down the length of it. Of course, sometimes the director moves it out of frame, so the cameraman slowly does it AGAIN! And this goes on and on for the entire piece.
Now, I’m not trying to criticize anybody because it is obvious that this was not done by anybody professional. I am just amazed that the DVD company Slasher Video even put this on the disc. I can only assume that this was made by Castillo and given to the company as an extra, but I honestly would have sent it back. Of course, maybe they just didn’t care and knew that anybody watching this was going to be laughing more than anything. But I hate to say it, but to me, it reflect on the people that put it out, that maybe they were the ones behind shooting it. And if they were, they have every right to be embarrassed because it is simply the worse piece of documentary footage that I have ever seen in my life. Ugh.
Which is shame because the disc looks great and they obviously did a lot of work cleaning up the film. And for a Turkey Day movie, it was pretty damn entertaining. But that interview that we all watched afterwards it just beyond your imagination.